My friend, John, is on Plenty of Fish. If you are new to dating or new to my blog, Plenty of Fish is a free dating website that I definitely do not recommend. There’s a reason why some people call it “Plenty of White Trash” or “Plenty of Ass.” Me? I just call it Plenty of Crap.
John is a great guy. We share the same type of humor and he likes entertaining me with some of the stuff he comes across on the dating sites. Recently, he sent me a link to a Plenty of Fish profile that left me seriously aghast. It was so bad that I had to share it and show you how crazy this on-line dating thing can be.
Unfortunately, by the time I copied the profile content it had been changed, so this is not the original I first read. I guess you could say that this is the “watered-down” version. But, nonetheless, I still find it entertaining and a prime example of what not to write in your dating profile.
Here it is:
Starting to understand the low birth rate in USA!
About Me: I’m going to keep this real short and sweet! I am not going to waste my time writing anything about myself or what I am looking for as I have in the past because my experience online has taught me that most guys don’t read or listen to what you have to say and really don’t care because they are prowling for one thing. Message me only if you are truly interested in knowing me. If you actually know how to approach a lady like a gentleman and not a sex starved animal or a timid no balls mouse, then you might hear back from me. If I don’t respond you obviously are not what I am looking for.
NO PICTURE, NO RESPONSE! I will assume rightfuly so that you are hiding from someone or something and most likely a wife and marriage. Plus, I need to see your smile and eyes especially as they are the mirror to the soul. There is no fire without a spark.
I will not respond to baldies, sports bums wearing grimy baseball hats, or drunks chug a lugging. Absolutely no traitorous liberals! I trust you smug, self-serving, anti-American, ball-less, Godless **stards as far as I can throw you!
Our First Date: Something fun and spontaneous, not too fussy. I wish I lived during the good old days when romancing a woman meant something and dating wasn’t just a means to an end. Remember, it’s not how much you spend on the date, it’s how well you spend it.
Dating a real woman is a lot different from a fake whore. It may be harder with a decent women in the beginning, but it will get easier once you prove yourself to her. In contrast, it’s very easy with a dirty whore in the beginning, but as you guys all know too well, it only gets harder and harder.
As a dating coach, I can honestly say that there is nothing in this profile that I would approve. This woman need serious help. The only man she needs is one who has a PhD in Psychiatry and a nice comfortable couch for her to lay on. Nowhere on her profile did I get a warm and fuzzy feeling, so if I didn’t feel it, surely nobody else did. She might as well have stated “I HATE ALL MEN,” because I felt she was that offensive.
Hell, I was even offended.
I guess no one ever told this woman that saying anything remotely negative on one’s profile is a big turn-off to anyone reading it. My advice to anyone daring to be on a dating website is to always keep your profile positive. Being negative in any regard is a big no-no.
Oh, and there’s more…
John loves to poke the bee’s nest every once in a while, so it came as no surprise when he told me he sent this woman an antagonistic email.
Unfortunately, he didn’t save all the emails from their correspondence, but he was able to retrieve her responses, just not his. He did summarize the initial email and in it, it said she should tone down her profile since Romney’s defeat (she called President Obama a communist) and then added something like, “Why don’t you start a dating service for classless and mean-spirited people like yourself?”
Right on cue she responded with:
“No asshole…I changed it long before idiots like you re-elected a complete failure.
Go fuck yourself and find some dirty liberal whore to bother!
How’s that for classless and mean spirited you ugly, self-righteous commi-puke? You ugly beer fart liberal pig! i’d rather be a lesbian!”
How’s that for acting like a lady? She wants to be treated like a lady, but she sure isn’t acting like one…
I guess she has never had anyone point out to her that you can’t let your environment or other people get you this bitter or angry.
The key word in that last statement is the word “let.” The only time someone can steal your happiness, or your joy for that matter, is if you let them. We are the ones who let other people’s action shape us. We let them get us angry or upset…or in this case, bitter. I bet she didn’t come out of her mother’s womb this angry. She’s let her environment shape her as it’s pretty easy to figure out that she has been cheated on, probably several times, and has been severally verbally abused by someone.
A lot of us have been there ourselves; I know I have. It hurts. It’s painful. But I’ve never taken it out on the next person. I’ve always seen each individual as just that – an individual. I have fought tooth and nail to never mistreat other people out of spite, because where does it get you? It doesn’t, so that’s why I let bad energy and memories go without giving it a second thought.
In wrapping up this post, I’m going to leave you with something my grandmother always drilled into my head when I was growing up, because it kept popping up into my head when I was writing, and that is:
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
Now go take on your day and stop being a slacker at work.
5 thoughts on “What Not to Write in a Dating Profile – Bitter/Angry People Should Not Be Allowed to Date”
Wow! No wonder she is on a free dating site. Thanks for the great read, yet again. I think Margaret & Helen would like it! 🙂
Now that’s a HUGE compliment. They really rock. Actually, they are my blogging idols.