No Profile Picture Only Could Mean One Thing

I think I’m seriously becoming a professional on-line dater.

I now can spot bullshit a mile away.  If there were any rules of on-line dating, I would say that this would hold the number one spot.

Rule #1:  If you receive an email from someone who doesn’t have a picture – you should RUN!  DELETE!  IGNORE!  DELETE!

Why?  Because anyone who is forthcoming and honest would put at least three pictures up.  At least.  People want you to see who they are – and those who don’t, will make sure they don’t leave any clues or pictures to their real identity.  They hide.

Here, I’ll give you a recent example.  I purposefully communicated with this guy even though he had no pictures, except for this cartoon, and virtually no information on his profile.

SIMPLY_CHEF:  it’s too bad. i have a six speed, a black belt in kissing, but am only 6’0″

CARRIE:  …but no pictures! You must be running from the law.

SIMPLY_CHEF:  sssshhhhhhhhhh…don’t turn me in. please.

CARRIE:  So, what’s the secret all about? A black belt in kissing….six speed…but no pictures…hmmmm….

SIMPLY_CHEF:  no secret….i’ll send you a pic if you want. or we can continue with a little mystery…

So, on that note…ladies, the first thing you want to do is picture the most disgusting man you can think of sitting on the other side writing these emails.

Here I’ll help you:

It certainly takes away any fantasy you might want this guy to look like, right?  Now, let’s continue.

Hey, I’m only here to help…

CARRIE:  I treat pictures-less profiles just like the asian woman at the dry-cleaners does: “No tickie! No shirtie!”

SIMPLY_CHEF:  stay tuned for witty comment….

CARRIE:  I won’t hold my breath.

Five days later…

CARRIE:  And, I’m still waiting for those pictures.  Imagine that.

Remember to always ask for pictures and if they don’t produce them instantly…