Why Would Anyone Think This Would Work?

CALI:  Did you get my text the other day?

CARRIE:  No, why?

CALI:  I got this email from a guy, begging me to go out with him.  I immediately thought of you and screened shot that bitch and sent off.

CARRIE:  Oh my God.   You MUST send it again!

CALI:  Here…

POF Begging

The reason why I would use something like this on my blog, is to show how desperate and clueless people have become.  The line, “would you date, or be intimate with someone younger than you” is pathetic and hysterical (hysterically pathetic?) all at the same time.   Cali and I had a good laugh over his desperation and audacity because we couldn’t think of where in the world he got the idea that this kind of approach would work on anyone?   There is no woman out there that would fall for this kind of approach.   Especially someone as attractive as Cali, because not only does this comes across desperate, but it’s also creepy.

Ewww.  Ewww.  Ewww.

And, creepy ain’t cute, sweetheart.

Where does this behavior stem from?  What in his 21-year old head made him think that saying something, so out-of-line, would actually win Cali over?  This makes no sense, and I’ve got ten bucks that says if he saw Cali in person, let’s say at a Starbucks, he wouldn’t dare say this to her face.  No way, no how.

Dating, as I’ve said before, should be treated as if you are going on a job interview.   Singles who are trying to find a mate should be on their best behavior, use spell check, use complete sentences, and most importantly be respectful.   In other words, if you wouldn’t want your Mamma to read it, then you probably shouldn’t send it.


Approaching women is really easy, whether it is on-line or in person.  We are not that complicated, so when a man approaches a woman, he needs to keep in mind the following if he wants to be taken seriously:

Women want to be respected and adored, in a non-creepy way, by someone who is sincere and honest. 

That’s it!

Case closed.

MORAL OF THE STORY:  If you wouldn’t say it in person, then you sure as hell shouldn’t say it in an email, especially if your Mamma wouldn’t approve of it.



How Does Lucky, Get So Unlucky?

LUCKY:  I really need some nonjudgmental advice.

CARRIE:  Hit me.

LUCKY:  That guy I told you about, well things were going great, he calls and texts me all the time, but when it came down to seeing me on the days he didn’t have his kid (which was last Monday & Wednesday) he was either tired or I don’t know, something came up – haven’t seen him since last Tuesday after he dropped his kid off.  He says he wants to take it slow, but I really can’t do the every-other-weekend thing, when it’s clear we could be spending more time together.

CARRIE:  Honey…he’s just not that into you and the fact that he says he wants to take it slow is a good way of saying it.  He likes the attention you give him, but that’s it.  Let me ask you this:  When you like someone, you want to see them all the time, right?  And when you aren’t really into someone, what do you do?

LUCKY:  Exactly!!!!  That’s what I said to him.  He is self-centered on his feelings.  Haven’t heard from him today and I’m fine with leaving it as is.  Just kinda hurts the one time I really am interested [in someone].  BAM.  Another asshole.

CARRIE:  It just sounds like he is lonely and if he up to seeing you, he does.  But that’s it.  I’m going to remind you what Nathan said to me one time, and I know this is super hard to implement, but you need to hear this again:  “You gotta act like every guy means pretty much nothing until one does a back-flip off a 60-story building with flowers and chocolates in his hands.  These are not games.  Just sorting out the weak.  You wanna mate with the lions, not with the cubs.”

LUCKY:  Got it!  But the ones who do this are the ones I have no chemistry with… I wish I could change the thing inside me that chooses the wrong ones I’m attracted to!

CARRIE:  The first rule of changing a pattern is acknowledging it.  Look at the bright side, at least you are recognizing it at the beginning, instead of after the fact, when it’s too late.  Look, don’t be angry at this guy.  He’s not a bad person just because he doesn’t feel the chemistry with you.  Just see it for what it is and move on without any hard feelings.  Dating is all about figuring out if you like someone or not.  Look at it like interviewing for a job…you are not always going to hire who you interview, right?  The same goes for dating.

LUCKY:  I know, but I’m not texting him or calling him.  If he calls or texts me, I will respond very nicely.  He should not put “wants long-term relationship” [on his profile] when he clearly is not ready.  He found me and my profile is pretty clear.

CARRIE:   Honey, I hate saying this…he wants a relationship, just not with you.  Because, if he did, you would have heard from him by now and he would have apologized to you.

I know that probably hurt Lucky to read that, but, as a friend, my duty is to be straight-up honest with her.   I could be wrong about this guy, but as far as I’m concerned all of his behavior is pointing in one direction.   A guy who is into her would never keep her guessing simply out of fear of losing her.    He would have done everything to make it up to her.  She just needs to cut him off and move on.

Anyone who is in this dilemma, I’m telling you, it’s really this simple:  Actions speak louder than words.


Three Strikes? Honey You Are Not Even in the Ballpark

Should dating be treated like a game of baseball and follow the same “three strikes and you’re out” rule?  I ask this question because apparently there are some men out there who think they get three magical chances while dating someone.  For instance, my friend, Erin, and I were emailing each other the other day and she pointed out that there are men out there who are completely clueless when it comes to our feelings.   They can’t relate and they certainly don’t indicate they have any ability to have empathy for our tender feelings.   This conversation came from a guy she dated, who was so self-absorbed that he was clueless to the notion that if he screwed up, it’s over.  Like a lot of people, he thought that there was a learning curve in a relationship.

In the middle of our emailing, I decided to post this on my Facebook fan page:


 She replied:

OMG that second chances pic you posted was exactly what I was thinking.

I dated a guy once who stood me up and later said “I guess that’s strike one, right?”  I said, “You haven’t earned three strikes…you’re out!”

I have no idea why guys think they get “strikes”.  It implies they have 3 get out of jail free cards with no expectation of penance and we’re supposed to just tolerate it.   How about get your shit together so you don’t need strikes, jackass.

I love Erin.  She always has a way with words.  And, just like Erin, there are no three-strikes in my world, either.   If you act like a jerk, that’s it, game over.

Do not pass Go.

Do not collect $200.

Do not call the tall, red head ever again.

If you are careless with my feelings, I’m done, because if someone can be that careless with my feelings during the honeymoon period, can you imagine what it would be like after the honeymoon is over?  Ya, I’m all set.

I want a man who will cherish me.  Someone who is so into me that they are fearless about being rejected.  Someone willing to step up to the plate and not give up.  Are there any guys out there who are passionate about finding love like I am?  Or is everyone so damaged from rotten relationships and horrible dating experiences that they aren’t willing to be authentic and vulnerable anymore?

Who in the world would sign up for this?  Dating is not fun.

Everyone is broken…