Red Sox Guy

July 3, 2010

Hi. How are you?



I just read your email and have to chuckle at the fact that you think people should put in the effort by writing an email rather than a “wink,” but where is the effort in, “How are you?”

Of course, I’m teasing you…. I do agree with you – anyone who “winks” should get automatically deleted for lack of effort. You get what you give. However, if someone writes me an email, I always write one back, no matter if I’m into them or not. I think it’s rude not to, don’t you?

I’m quite jealous at the moment, between your Red Sox season tickets, living in Back Bay Boston, and how much you have traveled!¬† Lucky you!

By the way, I’m surprised that someone like you needs Match from Hell to meet women.




You are right. I took a big short cut with my email, but then again it was about 3AM, so it probably wasn’t the best time to write something long. So, I REALLY liked your profile and photos. You seem like a very smart, fun, attractive and sexy girl. Everything a man could ever want. Thanks for thinking that I don’t need match, but I could say the same thing about you. We can share our explanations someday.

I’m actually up in Lake Winnepasaukee this weekend. What are you up to?

My email is and my cell is 617-XXX-XXXX. Please use them.


I hope to meet you soon.


PS – I really hope I’m tall enough to get on the ride. ūüėČ



You are at Lake Winnepasaukee?¬† I’m on my way to my girlfriend’s pool party. I don’t know how much sun we will get, but if I know my friends, regardless, the Sangria will be flowing!

Thanks for the digits! Here are mine: 973-XXX-XXXX. I’m a fan of talking, but I will be tied up this afternoon and into early evening. Text me if you want – and maybe later tonight we can talk? You can text me why you are up at the lake for the weekend….



No joke.  It was literally seconds after I sent that email that Red Sox Guy sent me his first of many texts.

He was very handsome and I couldn’t help but swoon over the fact that he was 6’3″,¬† 43-years old and never been married.¬† He was a chemical engineer and worked for a major oil company traveling the world as an auditor, working 2-3 weeks, but then coming home and having 3-4 weeks off.¬† I was thinking that would work for me!

I spent the day at the Hen House drinking Sangria and watching the kids play in the pool.  It was another typical great day with my girlfriends:  Cocktails, kids, dogs, laughter and a whole lot of story telling! (There is no shame, passing judgement or secrets in the Hen House!)

Red Sox Guy and I were exchanging texts all afternoon.  It was going so well that the girls suggested that I invite him over, because he was going to pass us by on his drive back to Boston. 

Wow!  What a concept!  Meet the Hen House when we are at our worst: Drunk, hot and sweaty!  Great idea!

What the hell...

He arrived around 9:15pm.  I thought he was really cute in a conservative way.  I introduced him to all the chicks and their husbands/boyfriends and then shortly after, we headed over to The Shaskeen for a beer.

Megs, the bartender was sitting outside at a table smoking a cigarette when we walked in.¬† I knew what she was thinking when she saw me. Carrie is here with another guy? I just smiled and said, “Don’t ask.”¬† I’m sure it looked bad.¬† Here I was with another guy in less than a week!¬† Well, hell, I’m tired of being single.¬† I want a boyfriend.

After a beer at the bar I told him that I was really tired and need to go home.¬† Plus, he had an hour-long drive back to Boston.¬† He kissed me good-bye at my car and all I could think about was thank God that was a normal kiss and he didn’t shove his tongue down my throat!¬† It was a good kiss, too!


Two days later we used those season tickets of his and went to a Red Sox game.  I met him at his place on Commonwealth Avenue and after a few beers on his balcony and a yummy make-out session, we walked over to the game.

These seats did not suck!

It was a great date.  I felt comfortable with him.  He made me laugh as I found out that he had a great sense of humor.  He even leaned over and kissed me a few times during the game and eventually put his arm around me.

When the game ended (the Sox won by the way), jumped into a pedicab and headed back to his place.

Once we were back at his condo, the make-out session continued, but things got too hot and heavy, so I told him that I had to leave.¬† I really liked him and didn’t want to spoil everything by sleeping with him too soon.¬† That would not have been good!

It was difficult, but I left that night and drove the hour-long ride from Boston back to New Hampshire.

He wanted another date the following day, but I had to take a quick trip to New York.  I assured him I would be back in a few days, so we schedule our second date a week later.

However, while I was gone, we kept playing phone tag and his texts were sporadic.¬† Something was up; just couldn’t put my finger on it.

Monday, when I came back to town I sent him this text:

CARRIE:  Hi!  Are we still on for Tuesday?

RED SOX GUY: Sadly, I’m not going to be able to see you tomorrow.¬† I met someone that I want to pursue.¬† Sorry.

CARRIE:¬† See? This is why I didn’t sleep with you.¬† Well, I had fun on our date and that’s what it’s all about, right?¬† Best…

RED SOX GUY:  Yes.  If you lived closer it could have been you, because I definitely liked you.

CARRIE:¬† I really liked you, too. I wish we could have talked before you made your decision.¬† For me, when I like someone, distance doesn’t matter. But that’s just me.¬† Well, no hard feelings.¬† Anyway…that’s that.

RED SOX GUY:  Should I let you know if I become single?

CARRIE:¬† I’m glad you were upfront and honest and didn’t keep dating the both of us – that would have been douchy… Glad you are not that guy.¬† So the answer is yes.¬† When it rains, it pours, right?¬† ūüėČ

RED SOX GUY:¬† It’s not that bad.¬† I’m sure I’ll be free again someday.

And that, my friends, is a prime example of my luck when it comes to dating!

I’m so frustrated!


He’s Got Game!

Seriously?¬† Already?¬† Someone has more game than me?¬† What the…I just got started!

STATS:¬† Lives in Boston, NYU and Standford Grad, 6’4″, salt & pepper hair, hazel eyes, gorgeous teeth, smile and face – and obviously he’s GOT GAME!

I actually had to look up a few several words he used in his profile.¬† You know how I love that stuff…and then he’s got these amazing lips and confidence…that’s a lethal combination!

Say hello to self-proclaimed sui generis…

SUI GENERIS: I see you listed the top things you are good at:

#1 Kissing

#2 Driving a stick

So, does this mean your kissing will lead you to driving a stick?

CARRIE:¬† It all depends…

SUI GENERIS: I don’t know you well enough yet to give you a compliment of substance and I am not going to comment on your obvious beauty, because you’ve heard it so many times from so many other guys; I’m different from the other “guys.”¬† Charm, wit, brilliant, tall, in-your-face honest, loyal, funny, good in and out of bed, and a great cook. Your turn…

CARRIE:¬† Just because you know a woman has heard something before, that’s going to stop you? Where, my friend, is the charm in that?! “Charm, Wit, Brilliant, Tall, In your face honest, loyal, funny,”…I think you forgot, “and on the prowl for a new lover.”

I do like your candor.  I find it to be a super turn-on when someone can just own the truth.

SUI GENERIS:¬† I’m looking for someone who is more into substance over style, albeit I have both. Besides, I just got laid off from Harvard University after 5 years. How’s that for candor? Still interested in an unemployed, entertaining genius? Candor works both ways. Your turn…..I am certain that you have an inexorable amount of men with their jaws dropped to the floor HOPING to get a word with you. When you winnow it down a tad to your top three, and I am still amongst that group, we’ll take it to the phone and see what you’ve got for game and substance. Fair enough, lovely one?

SUI GENERIS: ¬†An addendum to previous email; I noticed that you are QUITE tall; I’m six foot four which means with stilettos on you’re nudging six foot two or three, and might be able to body slam me…..Just sayin’…..or we could “wrassle” notice I said wrassle not wrestle…..Still can’t get that trip to West Virginia out of my hypothalamus.¬† West Virginia makes Alabama look like a fuc*ing think tank. Jesus.

CARRIE:¬† What? You are just now noticing that I’m 5’11”? Hell, it’s the first thing I look at, right after the pictures… I know from experience, it takes one hell of a man to handle me. (You can take that however you want.) Therefore, I absolutely look for a tall man. Preferably someone over 6’2″.

You just got laid off. Today? Last month? A job never defines the person anyway.¬† And, besides, I love entertaining geniuses…especially tall ones with nice lips.

Yes, the men are pounding down the door, but, luck me, I have my IM turned off…and the delete button comes in very handy. It takes one hell of an edge to grab my attention. It is entertaining though…however, so transparent and sometimes painful.

SUI GENERIS:¬† Okay Carrie; You’ve proven to me that you are an intriguing…enough of the email bullshit. Voice trumps text…so…when you get this email……give me a ring; 617-XXX-XXXX; That’s my private land line; If you happen to get my irreverent voice-mail instead of me in real time, do leave BOTH your name and number as that line does not have caller I.D. and I’ll ring you back promptly; I’m NOT going out tonight (Saturday) so if you have the stones… me. Looking forward to hearing your voice and, of course, your laugh.

Too bad for him, I already had plans with my girlfriends for Saturday night.  What could be more important than BBQ and Sangria with the chicks at the Hen House?

CARRIE:¬† Meow….mutually intrigued.¬† I have the stones…just didn’t have the time.¬† Shall we try again tomorrow?

…to be continued.

The Ken Doll: How to Flirt On-line

I nicknamed this guy from OK Cupid “Ken Doll,” because he simply looks like one.¬† Dirty blonde, perfect teeth and 6’3″!!¬†


And, do I care he is only 29-years old?


How to Flirt:  Lesson #1

KEN DOLL: I like how you list “kissing” as something you are good at. By the looks of you, I believe it.

CARRIE:¬† Actually, I’m very good at it. I like it slow and sensual. Is that too much to say on a first email???? But, I do appreciate someone who values kissing. And how about you?

KEN DOLL:  Kissing is everything. I also like it slow and sensual. Sounds like we would at least be good at one thing together.

CARRIE:  Kissing IS everything. Sensual is my middle name. My name is Carrie. What is yours?

KEN DOLL:¬† That’s a beautiful middle name. My name is Ben.

CARRIE:¬† Ben, nice to meet you. Seeing that I shared my middle name with you, would you like to share yours with me? I think it’s only fair.

KEN DOLL: Aroused is what my middle name would be after this conversation.

CARRIE:¬† I can only imagine what your middle name would be after we kissed…

KEN DOLL:¬† And I’d hope your middle name would remain the same. Potentially a hyphenated version. You ever make it down to Boston?

CARRIE:  Of course.  I will be in Boston on Tuesday.

….to be continued!!!!!

Sexy Sells, People!

I’m going for broke!


Now, not only am I on Match from Hell and Plenty of Crap, but now I just signed up on another free dating website called OK Cupid,¬† Why? Because a guy that I became friends with on Plenty of Crap said I was “slumming it” on there – meaning there were better people on OK Cupid.


So, I checked out the website, liked it, and decided that this time I’m using a different angle.¬† Less is more, people!¬† And, sex sells!!

When it comes to men (who we all know are visual creatures) that it’s best not to spell out too much, because when you do, you don’t leave enough room for questions.¬† Besides, isn’t the fun part of getting to know someone asking questions?

So, I decided that I’m going to be a complete mystery, and I’m only going to post three pictures on my profile.¬† Very sexy pictures, but nothing trashy.¬† Trashy is never cute.

Here they are:

So far, the inquiries are POURING IN!¬† Woo-hoo!¬†¬† There’s a lot of men in the Boston area that are interested… It’s about damn time, because it’s like pulling teeth trying to get a damn date from the Match from Hell guys!¬† But, the quality of the guys isn’t too impressive either…

On OK Cupid, there are different questions¬† on your profile that you can answer.¬† For example, in the “I’m really good at” section, I listed the following:


~Driving a stick






Yup, I’m a baaaaad girl…..SO, HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS, because this is going to be fun!

Let’s see if my little experiment works!



No More Older Guys, Please!

So, that’s it.¬† No more older guys.¬† I’m done.¬† Two unsuccessful dates in a row, one with Mr. Vermont and the other with Finance Guy.¬† Both of them were 47-years old.¬† I’m done.¬† Look,¬† I realize that 47 is within my age bracket, but they both just seem so much older than me.¬† They looked older than me.¬† They act older than me.¬† I’m silly!¬† I’m fun!¬† I think I just want someone younger…

I know I come from a good gene pool, because both me and my brother look younger than what we actually are – and oh, God, please don’t let him tell you he’s my younger brother, which he loves to do, because he is definitely older!

Somehow, both Nathan and I have managed to age without any wrinkles so far – probably, because we both have stayed out of the sun.¬† For me, it’s because the sun doesn’t like me.¬† My Prescriptives Flawless Skin makeup even has SPF15 in it – it’s my secret weapon! Plus, I also put sunscreen on my face if I know I will be spending any length of time outside.

So far, so good.

My brother has stayed out of the sun, too!¬† But not on purpose like his sister.¬† He’s a vampire bartender, so he lives mostly at night.

No sun =  No wrinkles.

(Now if we can only do something about his salt & pepper hair….)




Where was I?¬† Oh, yes…dating older guys.¬† Ya, I’m over it.¬† For me, I base my attraction from this simple, yet effective, question: “Can I see myself kissing him?”¬† And, often, when it comes to guys who are older than me – the answer is a big, fat NO!¬† Although, to me, older men are usually more established and they know who they are. Most importantly, they know what they want.¬† Younger guys get easily distracted, especially if they have more than one woman interested in them.

Uhg!¬† What do I know…I’ll probably be eating my words soon – like I always do.


I hate to put any restrictions on my dating life but, right now, this is how I feel.


Why Nicknames Are Necessary

It seems as though I’ve had a lot of dates over the years, doesn’t it?¬† I mean, it’s not like I’m some sort of serial dater who has a date every night of the week or even every week for that matter.¬† It’s just that I’ve been single for a while (which seems like forever) and so it does feel like there have been a lot of….dating contestants.

If you have been following my blog, you probably have seen that my dating life can be very much up-and-down.¬† One minute, I’m going through a dry spell and then all of a sudden it’s raining men.


Trust me, too many guys at one time is not a good thing.¬† Most people¬†think I have men lined up for every night of the week, but give me more than one guy to date at a time and I actually start to feel¬†over-whelmed and¬†anxious.¬† It’s silly and I don’t know where it comes from, but that’s how I get.¬†(Let’s just keep that between you and me, please.)

Since I have been single, the upside of it is that I have lots of juicy stories for my friends. ¬†They love hearing about all my dating disasters.¬† I’m just glad that something positive has¬†come out of it.¬† If it entertains my girlfriends and makes good blogging material then, so be it.

I guess that would be the payoff for having all those callous boys hurt my feeling over the years.

Certainly writing about my dates¬†also helps me learn from my own mistakes and maybe, one day, I’ll finally get it right.

When I first started blogging, I realized quickly that¬†it’s not fair to¬†unsuspecting guys I date to use¬†their real name, because about 99% of them do not know I’m a blogger. ¬†That’s been a big problem from the start.

The other problem is that I don’t always get to see my girlfriends, so when we do get together, I would¬†tell in my animated way about the latest guy I dated. ¬†But, it never failed. In¬†the middle of a sentence, someone would say, “I’m sorry, which guy is this you’re talking about?”

Which guy?


Many times I found myself in the middle of my story, only to stop and repeat how I met the guy, his stats, and how our first date went, just to remind my friends of who I was referring to.

But who could blame them?

When you’ve got as many stories as I do, nobody is going to remember Chris, Michael, Kevin, Tom, John or James.¬†¬† I had to come up with a solution. So, I started using nicknames.

Nicknames!  What a brilliant idea.  Who could forget names like these?

Hockey Boy

The Marine

Lenny Kravitz

Cousin Vinny

Undercover Brother

Crooked-Dick Darryl

The Noocher


The Senator

The Guy from Survivor

The Sociopath

The Good Doctor

Power of Now Guy


Another important reason why I use nicknames is something my friend Becky once told me about dating…


You don’t name the puppy, unless you plan on keeping it.


In Becky’s book, naming the puppy before you are ready to keep him, is apparently a big no-no.

Think about it: Why would I use a guy’s real name, and confuse all my girlfriends, if I’m not sure if I’m going to keep him?

I certainly wouldn’t bring a guy home to meet¬†my family if¬†I wasn’t serious about him, right? ¬†It’s the same concept.

Here’s another¬†reason to use nicknames: What¬†if you date more than one “Michael” like I did?¬†¬†Lucky for me, I didn’t date them at the same time, but you can see how something like that can really be confusing.¬† Before nicknames, dating someone with the same name like “John” got my friends to ask questions like:

“Hey, did you guys get back together?”

“I thought he was a jerk – you’re dating him again?!”

You get the picture…

For me, nicknames are the way to go.

No longer are my girlfriends confused.

Everyone is happy.



People who don’t know the whole back story on the¬†nick-naming have accused me of being mean, but trust me, the guys never¬†know their nicknames–except Undercover Brother, DC Dude and The Senator.¬† Those names are pretty¬†harmless and rather flattering.

Although…if¬†Crooked-Dick Darryl ever found out his nickname, I probably would have died of embarrassment.¬† It was crooked and shaped like a summer squash…


There is one possible problem I do foresee in the future with the nick-naming thing.  What happens when I finally do decide to name the puppy and bring him home to meet my family?

Dear Lord….I can just see it now, someone¬†will probably end up saying, “I’m sorry, I know all about you, but I just don’t remember your name.¬† What¬†is it again?”


But, until I cross that bridge, let the nick-naming continue.


Don’t Give Up

When times get tough, and when I get to a point where I find myself feeling less than positive about dating, I look for inspiration.  I use a variety of tools to keep myself focused and to stay positive Рyou know, keep my eye on the prize.  One of those things is this amazing poem by Gemineye.

I’ve got a whole lot to offer, and I’m willing to wait for that one special guy who can get past my looks, and who can appreciate me – for me. I want a guy that takes the time to know me – not someone who randomly texts me because he’s lonely or is in search for some sort of validation.

Watch this video and hear it from Gemineye first hand on how a man should really appreciate a woman:

‚ÄúPenny For Your Thoughts‚ÄĚ

Can I offer you a penny for your thoughts?
As a matter of fact, how about three?
One penny for you, one penny for me,
And one penny for our minds engaged not so sexually.
Getting intimately closer as we approach the
Climatic altitude of nude, mental, sensational… conversation.

Because I’m trying to get to know everything about you
From the neck… UP.

So these are not your typical, sexual, poetical prose.
I’m trying to close the door on that all too familiar freaky foreplay game.
With which most guys have chose to approach you.
While they are trying to get deeply embedded
In the fine fibers of your bed sheets,

I’m trying to find and define the fibers of which your mind speaks.
I want to engage you
By putting a two karat solitaire diamond on your mind
Marrying your every thought!
I want to lick every inch of every crevasse
So I can get an oral fix from each orifice
And taste you passionate IMAGINATION.
I’d rather be naked and exposed, holding you
As we’re lying and you’re crying
While confiding and describing
the tough times you’ve had in life
And how you don’t know
If you can keep a relationship long enough to be somebody’s wife.

I wanna feel the heartbeat of your inner rhythms
As they lead me toward your warm, wet, waterfalls of feminine thoughts.
And I’ll swim in them.
From backstrokes, to breaststrokes,
I‚Äôm penetrating every entrance… to your mind.
Taking my time to find out everything about you.

Did I ever tell you about how you
Fell asleep in my presence?
And your mere essence
Kept me awake for hours
As I cowered with this feeling
Of sexually unadulterated mental connection?

And as you lay by my side
I pushed the blinds aside
And took the time in the moonlight of that night
To count 72 eyelashes
On the upper eyelid of your right eye!
Because when you sleep
Your eyes remain open slightly.

And while we probably moves in too quickly into some sexual shit
I’ve always cared more about the explicitly illicitness
That came from between you lips…meaning your voice.

So now I am standing here
Ready to trade in all the sexual acts that we’ve preformed
For the chance to reform the very foundation
And the basis of our relationship.

So I reiterate my opening statement
And I offer you another penny for your thoughts!