This Guy Should Not Be Online Dating – Hmmmmmmm

Recently, I posted added this on my OK Cupid profile:

UPDATE: 03.07.12:   I’ve kept this part of my profile empty for a long time now – I guess because I wanted to leave an air of mystery – to evoke questions, if you will. But, now, after being on here and having been on more dates than I’d like to admit, I want to use this space to announce that I’m quitting. I give up. I’m done. I’m just so disgusted at how men can treat women (me) that I can’t even stomach the thought of meeting one more person who carelessly tramples on my feelings like it’s no big deal. I am convinced that there are no gentlemen left. Certainly, nobody takes the time to get to know anyone anymore – it’s like a lost art. Everyone just wants a bed-buddy or sex. And you know what? I’m all set with that.

I consider myself a normal person with above average intelligence and great sense of humor. I’ve been called “beautiful” inside and out more times than I can remember by complete strangers. I have numerous close friends and a great family. Anyone who knows me can’t believe that I’m single, but I tell them that it’s hard finding love when everyone is so self-absorbed or they have a chip on their shoulder, so big, that they can’t even see the tall, beautiful, witty, intelligent, gracious, well-rounded, emotionally stable woman in front of them.

So, with that being said, I’m done.

After I posted that I had a lot of guys write to me and apologize for their fellow male behavior.  Everyone has been really sweet.   Until I get an email from this guy:

Just Got Done Reading Your Up dated Profile,,And I Have to say I Felt Bad for you,Because Some of the Women I speak with Tell how Some of these Men Can Be..Then i went and Looked over Some of your Answers to your Questions,Like>>>>>>How confident are you in your sexual abilities? Super confident “Oh, if you only knew….!” ( You Said That ) Super confident -Me.  Would you dump someone simply because they weren’t good at sex? Yes,, You Said Yes….Hummmmmm No,,I Said No.  Could you date someone who loved you with all their heart, and whom you liked a lot, but who was terrible in bed? No. So You Could Not Date Someone who Loved You,And Sucked In Bed.Hummm Yes. Me, I could. It’s Not Always About Sex.  And Thats Just 3 Of Them, I Can Understand Why your geting The Wrong Men.And Yes There are Some Good Guys Out There,,And I’m One of Them. Good Luck

You know, my grandmother always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  What a jerk.   You know me, I wasn’t going to let this email go unanswered, because you and I both know this wasn’t his first time he’s used this kind of tone with women – so allow me…


Dear Troubleforu:

After reading your email, I can’t help but think that you’re trying to make me look a I’m either a bad person/slut or purposefully over-look the “good guys” like yourself.

Let’s take a look at the three questions you carefully selected from my profile out of the 190 you had to choose from.

First, the one about being confident in bed.  I’m confused.  How is that a bad thing?  As a woman, am I not allowed to say that I am confident? Do you take offense to that, because you are not confident in bed? Or, does that make me look like a slut in your eyes?

The 2nd and 3rd questions are redundant.  (I found it odd that even though we are not a match, and I’m not interested in dating anyone right now, you felt the need to scroll through 25 pages of questions I answered to find another answer that would help “prove” your point.)  So, let me ask you this:  Why would I stay with someone who wasn’t good at sex?  And if you don’t want to have sex with someone, but you really like them – doesn’t that make you just friends?

Let’s look at some other questions that you clearly over looked in my profile:

>How interested would you be in knowing the details of a partner’s sexual history?
You said: Very interested.
I said: Not interested.

Hmmmmmmmm…..You’re very interested? Really? I find that to be really creepy. Aren’t we all adults? Hasn’t everyone had sex? Let me guess, you’re the guy who judges a woman based on how many guys she has slept with…right?

>How much can intelligence turn you on?
You said:  Intelligence does nothing for me either way.
I said: A lot!

Hmmmmmmmm….so if your date was dumb, it doesn’t matter? Maybe you like them pretty and stupid.

>What’s worse on a first date?
You said: No physical attraction.
I said: Nothing to talk about.

Hmmmmmmmm….so you need a physical attraction in order to connect with someone? Isn’t that what you are accusing me of – missing out on a “good guy” like yourself? Well, what if that person who you just met wasn’t that attractive, but she was a “great girl”? You just contradicted yourself.   To me, if I can have a great conversation with someone – it makes them more attractive in my eyes.

>Do you say “Thank you,” to wait staff when served in a restaurant?
You said: Most of the time.
I said: Always.

“Being gracious is very important to me.” – I said that.
Hmmmmmmmm…you’re starting to really look like a jerk here.

>If you’re in a relationship you expect will last for the rest of your life, is it important to you that it be the most satisfying sexual relationship you have ever had?
You said: Yes.
I said: No.
HMMMMMMMM…. you are basing your relationship on sex again.

>Which makes for a better relationship?
You said: Passion.
I said: Dedication.
Hmmmm….passion over dedication? Maybe you like to fight..and like heated arguments. Not really a good recipe for a healthy relationship – but then again, your profile name is “Trouble4u.” Hmmmmmm….

>Which of these options most closely describes what you’re looking for in your next relationship?
I said:  Someone to come home to.

Maybe you missed that one, because the other answers I could choose from were:  “Someone to go out with,” and “Someone just for tonight.”

Now let’s look at the personality profile tests.  The only test I took was:

“The Muppet Animal Test.”

I would say that’s pretty non-sexual, cute and funny.

Let’s take a look at your tests (and, gee, you certainly took a lot of them):

“The Tits, Ass, and Cuteness” test
“The Can You Fuck Me Good” test
“The Slut Test” (which you scored 75% slut)
“The Sexual Hell” test
“The What’s Your Sexual Style?” test

Not really tests that a man of character would take, wouldn’t you say?

I can’t help but think that because you didn’t meet my height requirement of 6’1″ (you are only 5’11”) that somehow this upset you, plus, you’re a smoker and I won’t date a smoker, so you decided to try to pick me apart. Well, it’s always  easy to paint someone in a certain light when other valid points are deliberately over looked that contradict your point of view.

I don’t know how you call yourself a “good guy” when all of your answers in your profile are mostly sexually charged.  And, certainly, if you were a “good guy,” you would have sent me a nice email.  Here, I’ll give one example of the 35 emails I received: “Hang in there. Your profile looks great, and you seem to be a together women.”

In a nutshell, your profile is written by a misogynist who has a chip on his shoulder.

Good luck with that,


An hour later, I receive his reply.

Misogynist,,Not At All,And I’m Sorry if i Came a cross That Way.Just had a Bad Night..Sorry i Upset You,,You Did Give me Something To Think About,Maybe i should Revist My Answers,,,,Wish You Well Steve

Just what this world needs…another passive-aggressive person.



11 thoughts on “This Guy Should Not Be Online Dating – Hmmmmmmm

  1. You are easily the most articulate, intelligent, funny woman I know. I’m with David, please don’t stop writing. I enjoy reading your stories – as a fellow tall woman who’s newly single, they help me navigate an often insensible dating world and, most importantly, make me think as well as laugh. Besides, I’m dying to hear the rest of that frustrated story too. 🙂

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