Why am I still single? I ask myself that question a lot. Is it me? Is it the guys I date? Or, is it just not my time?
But, then I take a look around me – I mean, look at my brother. He’s in the same boat as I am, which brings me to think that maybe it could be a genetic predisposition.
Listen, I just might have a valid point here. Look at us. My brother and I both have never been engaged. We have never been married. We have never had kids (that he knows of) and we are still both single to this day.
The question that sticks out to me the most is how have we both gone through life having pretty similar relationship experiences and have the same end result, when everyone else around us has a significant other?
We are both a lot alike in terms that we are both good-looking, articulate, intelligent, personable, and out-going. With those qualities, you would think that we would have been married off a long time ago, right?
*DING!*
Then, I start thinking that maybe we are both scared of making a commitment – that maybe this has been a self-fulfilling proficiency?
Case and point: A few years ago, I was living in Los Angeles and I invited Nathan to come to LA and join me and my friends in a large, pot-luck Thanksgiving dinner that one of my friends was throwing. This is his reply to my email:
Hey there sis. I am using our new laptop while I am eating lunch at the bar. I love this WiFi stuff. Not even plugged in anywhere. I am just so fucking high-tech.
Been thinking about Thanksgiving, and that it would be nice to spend Thanksgiving with you and your friends, but its going to be a real busy week here at the bar. Plus, my girlfriend’s folks have invited Mom and I to dinner that day, which makes me think….if I bring my Mom to meet her Mom…….and we all have dinner together….then what’s next?!Engagement ring
Marriage
Kids
Divorce
Visitation/custody battles
Alcoholism
Psychotherapy
Bankruptcy
Pan-handling the streets
Recovery
Rehabilitation
Paranoia
Obesity
Insane asylums
Suicide attempts
Break outs
Excommunication
Heart failure
Cancer
Brain tumors
…and finally, a retirement community!
Shit! I just might try and find out if I can get a few days off that week and fly out!
~Nathan
Unfortunately, Nathan’s relationship didn’t last with his girlfriend, and we are now both…still…single. Again!
Oh, God. To add salt to the wound, I’ll throw in this story too: I remember one time we were both dating someone at the same time, which is very rare. So, to make things interesting, and because we clearly know our own history with dating, we bet each other $100 on whose relationship would last the longest.
*GIGGLING*
We’re so bad.
~Carrie
The Redheaded Writer 
Ouch! Is that what I have to look forward to? Remind me to never have our families meet. 😉
Just remember to broaden your scope. It is not just Manchester/NH/USA there are many folks in your position, some by choice. Then there are the married, unhappy, happy, divorced, widowed, 3rd marriage, etc. Broaden that scope!
When I think about my lack of riches I remind myself that I maintain a small truck and an old motorcycle. I also have the internet and cable and I can buy any food I am hungry for. If I take a world view I feel I should be happy with my riches. Comparing to my Portsmouth neighbors is dangerous as they throw away 10 year old SAABs and Volvo’s. I live in a very well off part of the world! People spend their hard earned cash to come here for a week every summer! I live here all 52 weeks!
Look at the positive. You have no choice. Maintain a level of happiness so that whatever happens your life is fulfilled! Do strive for what you want but there is only so much we can control.
Wake up and have a good day! Much can come from just that. At least that is what i tell myself. Wait, I am no good at this either! Why would anyone listen to me? (heh, heh, heh)
Thank you, Rob. You are so sweet. My scope has been broad for many years. I lived all over the country and it was only recently that I moved back to my home state. Even when I lived in the best city in the world, New York City, I still had a problem dating, but that was because I actually tried to avoid the (Wall Street) guys with money because I found they couldn’t appreciate someone like me. They were too caught up in trying to impress me that they forget to get to know me. I always said I was just a simple girl from New Hampshire (that happens to look smokin’ hot in a dress and Manolo Blahniks). *winks*
I’ve always been happier with the simpler things in life, although, I still love going to dinner and the ballet in NYC. But I’m equally happy hiking a mountain. I think when I lived in NYC that I OD’d on the finer things in life, and didn’t have the scenic mountains, trees, lakes and ocean that grew up with that really made me happy. My closet, which is small, reflects my travels and my different lifestyles I’ve lived. My Manolo Blahnik shoes and Bottega Veneta bag look funny sitting next to my Birkenstock shoes and no-name Italian leather bag in my closet, but I love all of them equally. (Okay…the Manolo’s make me feel sexier than the Birks…but you get my point.)
I now live close to my family and friends and that is all that matters to me these days. I made some really interesting friends all around the country, but family is where the heart is, and my heart is in New Hampshire. 🙂
As for divorced men with kids, etc…didn’t you read Hot Dog Guy or DC Dude? It seems like I’ve dated young, old, divorced and never been married, tall and really tall, broke and rich, etc. I believe that my time hasn’t come yet. Maybe I need to finish my book before my guy comes along…maybe that’s the plan. But regardless…I have faith. It’s been a great journey. I have this blog! I’ve met so many people through it – people who have shared their stories with me and some who have even sought out my advice. I’ve inspired people, made them laugh, made a few new friends along the way…life is so sweet, I’m truly blessed.
~Carrie