MARY:  Here’s one for ya. This is a text I received last night from one of the losers a few weeks ago:  “I need help.  I’m officially out on the streets.  Have no place to stay tonight. Can you help me?

CARRIE:  What?????  OMFG!  You met him on what site?  You really need to get the hell outta Los Angeles.

MARY:  OK Cupid.

CARRIE:  Did you ever meet him in person?  Scammer, mother fucker…like he has no friends – he has to turn to a stranger??  You?!

MARY:  Yes, I had one cup of tea with him for an hour.  He’s one of the ones I told you about.

CARRIE:  Creep.

MARY:  Broke ass.  Get a fucking hotel.  Seriously.  I ignored it completely.  Loser.

CARRIE:  What did he say he did for a living?

MARY:  He’s a writer, apparently.  TV and film.  Just moved here.  And then, at the same time, lost the job he was working on and lost his place to stay, too.  That was over a week ago that I kissed him off.  Wished him luck, but told him it’s clearly not good-timing to date him in the unstable state he’s in.  Then I got that out of the blue last night.  Horrifying!  Really?!!

CARRIE:  WTF?  Like he has no family or friends that can wire him money?  I’ll tell you what he doesn’t have…SHAME!

MARY:  Totally.  Always something new and surprising in the world of Internet dating.  And, what would have happened if he knew where I lived?  Creep, is right.

CARRIE:  Did you list how much money you make on your profile? Maybe he was looking for a Sugar Mama?!  *winks*

MARY:  Nope.

CARRIE:  Thankfully, I haven’t had that problem here.

MARY:   You have my permission to blog about it.

CARRIE:  Do you still have all your correspondence with him?  Pictures??

MARY:   Let me see, hang on.

MARY:  He deleted his profile!!!

CARRIE:  And there ya go…..

If there is any advice I can give to those of you who are online dating, it’s that you please cross all your “T’s” and dot all your “I’s” when dating.

Be diligent.

Be smart.

Get their full name and where they live and Google the snot out of it before you meet.  Talk to them on the phone and make sure your friends know all about your date before you meet them.

I’ll let you in on a little secret.  For a variety of reasons, I always snag a few pictures of a guy I’m going to go out with as well as his full profile.  I do this because sometimes I forget details (I do that a lot), plus friends always want to see who the man is behind the nickname.  And, rather than logging into the dating website to view their profile over-and-over like a damn stalker, I look at what I have saved on my computer instead.  And, it’s safer to have that information readily available, just in case you need it.  Like Mary always said about dating, “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.”

Had Mary copied this guy’s information before her date, my new post might have been written a little differently.  Because, you know me! I would have posted his sorry-ass mug up on my blog  for the whole world to see just what a scam artist looks like.

*SHAKES HEAD*

Some people have no shame.

And, hopefully, I’m right about this guy – that he’s really not this nice, sweet man who is now homeless.   I’ve been known to fall for that kind of stuff.  I’m pretty gullible over the years, but would like to think I’m getting better at detecting bullshit these days.

*PAUSES*

Did I ever tell you about the sociopath I dated?  Ya, that was fun.  He had me convinced he had a brain tumor.

He also had me convinced that he wasn’t married…

Mother.

Next!