Seriously? Already? Someone has more game than me? What the…I just got started!
STATS: Lives in Boston, NYU and Standford Grad, 6’4″, salt & pepper hair, hazel eyes, gorgeous teeth, smile and face – and obviously he’s GOT GAME!
I actually had to look up a
few several words he used in his profile. You know how I love that stuff…and then he’s got these amazing lips and confidence…that’s a lethal combination!
Say hello to self-proclaimed sui generis…
SUI GENERIS: I see you listed the top things you are good at:
#2 Driving a stick
So, does this mean your kissing will lead you to driving a stick?
CARRIE: It all depends…
SUI GENERIS: I don’t know you well enough yet to give you a compliment of substance and I am not going to comment on your obvious beauty, because you’ve heard it so many times from so many other guys; I’m different from the other “guys.” Charm, wit, brilliant, tall, in-your-face honest, loyal, funny, good in and out of bed, and a great cook. Your turn…
CARRIE: Just because you know a woman has heard something before, that’s going to stop you? Where, my friend, is the charm in that?! “Charm, Wit, Brilliant, Tall, In your face honest, loyal, funny,”…I think you forgot, “and on the prowl for a new lover.”
I do like your candor. I find it to be a super turn-on when someone can just own the truth.
SUI GENERIS: I’m looking for someone who is more into substance over style, albeit I have both. Besides, I just got laid off from Harvard University after 5 years. How’s that for candor? Still interested in an unemployed, entertaining genius? Candor works both ways. Your turn…..I am certain that you have an inexorable amount of men with their jaws dropped to the floor HOPING to get a word with you. When you winnow it down a tad to your top three, and I am still amongst that group, we’ll take it to the phone and see what you’ve got for game and substance. Fair enough, lovely one?
SUI GENERIS: An addendum to previous email; I noticed that you are QUITE tall; I’m six foot four which means with stilettos on you’re nudging six foot two or three, and might be able to body slam me…..Just sayin’…..or we could “wrassle” notice I said wrassle not wrestle…..Still can’t get that trip to West Virginia out of my hypothalamus. West Virginia makes Alabama look like a fuc*ing think tank. Jesus.
CARRIE: What? You are just now noticing that I’m 5’11”? Hell, it’s the first thing I look at, right after the pictures… I know from experience, it takes one hell of a man to handle me. (You can take that however you want.) Therefore, I absolutely look for a tall man. Preferably someone over 6’2″.
You just got laid off. Today? Last month? A job never defines the person anyway. And, besides, I love entertaining geniuses…especially tall ones with nice lips.
Yes, the men are pounding down the door, but, luck me, I have my IM turned off…and the delete button comes in very handy. It takes one hell of an edge to grab my attention. It is entertaining though…however, so transparent and sometimes painful.
SUI GENERIS: Okay Carrie; You’ve proven to me that you are an intriguing challenge..so…enough of the email bullshit. Voice trumps text…so…when you get this email……give me a ring; 617-XXX-XXXX; That’s my private land line; If you happen to get my irreverent voice-mail instead of me in real time, do leave BOTH your name and number as that line does not have caller I.D. and I’ll ring you back promptly; I’m NOT going out tonight (Saturday) so if you have the stones…..call me. Looking forward to hearing your voice and, of course, your laugh.
Too bad for him, I already had plans with my girlfriends for Saturday night. What could be more important than BBQ and Sangria with the chicks at the Hen House?
CARRIE: Meow….mutually intrigued. I have the stones…just didn’t have the time. Shall we try again tomorrow?
…to be continued.