Why Nicknames Are Necessary

It seems as though I’ve had a lot of dates over the years, doesn’t it?  I mean, it’s not like I’m some sort of serial dater who has a date every night of the week or even every week for that matter.  It’s just that I’ve been single for a while (which seems like forever) and so it does feel like there have been a lot of….dating contestants.

If you have been following my blog, you probably have seen that my dating life can be very much up-and-down.  One minute, I’m going through a dry spell and then all of a sudden it’s raining men.

Literally.

Trust me, too many guys at one time is not a good thing.  Most people think I have men lined up for every night of the week, but give me more than one guy to date at a time and I actually start to feel over-whelmed and anxious.  It’s silly and I don’t know where it comes from, but that’s how I get. (Let’s just keep that between you and me, please.)

Since I have been single, the upside of it is that I have lots of juicy stories for my friends.  They love hearing about all my dating disasters.  I’m just glad that something positive has come out of it.  If it entertains my girlfriends and makes good blogging material then, so be it.

I guess that would be the payoff for having all those callous boys hurt my feeling over the years.

Certainly writing about my dates also helps me learn from my own mistakes and maybe, one day, I’ll finally get it right.

When I first started blogging, I realized quickly that it’s not fair to unsuspecting guys I date to use their real name, because about 99% of them do not know I’m a blogger.  That’s been a big problem from the start.

The other problem is that I don’t always get to see my girlfriends, so when we do get together, I would tell in my animated way about the latest guy I dated.  But, it never failed. In the middle of a sentence, someone would say, “I’m sorry, which guy is this you’re talking about?”

Which guy?

Uhg.

Many times I found myself in the middle of my story, only to stop and repeat how I met the guy, his stats, and how our first date went, just to remind my friends of who I was referring to.

But who could blame them?

When you’ve got as many stories as I do, nobody is going to remember Chris, Michael, Kevin, Tom, John or James.   I had to come up with a solution. So, I started using nicknames.

Nicknames!  What a brilliant idea.  Who could forget names like these?

Hockey Boy

The Marine

Lenny Kravitz

Cousin Vinny

Undercover Brother

Crooked-Dick Darryl

The Noocher

Anaconda

The Senator

The Guy from Survivor

The Sociopath

The Good Doctor

Power of Now Guy

6’7″

Another important reason why I use nicknames is something my friend Becky once told me about dating…

 

You don’t name the puppy, unless you plan on keeping it.

 

In Becky’s book, naming the puppy before you are ready to keep him, is apparently a big no-no.

Think about it: Why would I use a guy’s real name, and confuse all my girlfriends, if I’m not sure if I’m going to keep him?

I certainly wouldn’t bring a guy home to meet my family if I wasn’t serious about him, right?  It’s the same concept.

Here’s another reason to use nicknames: What if you date more than one “Michael” like I did?  Lucky for me, I didn’t date them at the same time, but you can see how something like that can really be confusing.  Before nicknames, dating someone with the same name like “John” got my friends to ask questions like:

“Hey, did you guys get back together?”

“I thought he was a jerk – you’re dating him again?!”

You get the picture…

For me, nicknames are the way to go.

No longer are my girlfriends confused.

Everyone is happy.

*DING!*

 

People who don’t know the whole back story on the nick-naming have accused me of being mean, but trust me, the guys never know their nicknames–except Undercover Brother, DC Dude and The Senator.  Those names are pretty harmless and rather flattering.

Although…if Crooked-Dick Darryl ever found out his nickname, I probably would have died of embarrassment.  It was crooked and shaped like a summer squash…

 

There is one possible problem I do foresee in the future with the nick-naming thing.  What happens when I finally do decide to name the puppy and bring him home to meet my family?

Dear Lord….I can just see it now, someone will probably end up saying, “I’m sorry, I know all about you, but I just don’t remember your name.  What is it again?”

*SMACKS HEAD*

But, until I cross that bridge, let the nick-naming continue.

~Carrie

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5 thoughts on “Why Nicknames Are Necessary

  1. I am proud to say that I have either met in person or heard the stories of each one of the beloved nicknames above. Yes, I couldn’t agree with you more dear Carrie. Things became much simpler when the nicknames came into play, and it makes it even more entertaining. I just hope that I’m going to be the one to be at the hen house, and the one that says, “What’s your name again?” Kind of like, “Hey, if you marry her, she’ll be Carrie Piegari!” Haha, snort snort!

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