Can you believe there’s a Mortgage Guy III? Well, neither can I….
He never replied to that last text and believe me, it bothered me a whole lot. I felt something wasn’t right so a week later while I was up in Catskill Mountains, I wrote Mortgage Guy a rather nice email – short but to the point – I figured I should take the high road and just take a chance.
Part of that email read, “I haven’t heard from you, so maybe along the way you misconstrued something, or maybe I did – or maybe it’s something else altogether…… Regardless, here I am; being as open and as honest with you as possible, in hopes that we can end this on a positive note…….or start again.”
Lobbing the ball over to his side of the court my thought process was if he didn’t respond, then I knew it wasn’t me. It was him.
But he replied right back and we decided to see each other again. Again, he said he would be busy during the weekend, but assured me that he would still have time to see me, “I promise, if you drive up this weekend, I will definitely show up this time.”
It wasn’t an apology for the previous faux pas, but at least it was an acknowledgment.
We had already done the coffee thing, so I was thinking he was gong to want to see me Saturday night. I send out an email to update the Hen House and ask them to suggest something low-key, quiet, comfortable with good ambiance for coffee or a cocktail, (preferably the later). Hell, so much had changed in Manchester since I lived there wasn’t familiar with anything anymore.
Julie, Brigitte and Denise all chime in via email and suggested the following: Karma (the hookah bar), Bedford Village Inn – Wine Bar, Unwine’d, Z on Elm Street, or Firefly.
MORTGAGE GUY: Good morning, girl. So, Starbucks tomorrow morning?
You’ve got to be kidding me!!!! Ok……ok….ok…..I’m just going to go with it.
CARRIE: Of course. What time?
MORTGAGE GUY: 10am works for me.
CARRIE: 10am it is!
And the saga continued that Saturday morning…
Mortgage Guy: Can we definitely meet for coffee late this afternoon, maybe around 3:00pm?
I didn’t ask why, I just went with it….well, sort of. Whatever – I’ll just switch my schedule around for the day.
Carrie: You’re killing me. Okay…
Nathan:I just got a Valentine’s Day card from an awesome chick!
Carrie:You’re welcome! I’m just waiting on Mortgage Guy….our date, at Starbucks no less, was changed from 10am to this afternoon. What IS HIS DEAL?! Uhg!
Carrie: Technically, it’s strike #2. Remember when he flaked 2 weeks ago? I’m trying to be Zen, and non-judgmental, because Becky knows him and said he is a good guy. We’ll see…..
Carrie: Eh-hem. What are we doing, Goober?
Mortgage Guy: Be there in 20, Geek.
Son of a *bleep*!!!
Carrie: Daum, you are on time…ok…because you said AROUND 3:00pm…maybe I should change your name to “Flake.” 🙂 Now I’ll be the one who is a little late…
Seriously! “Around” and “at” have two totally different meanings! God!
I switched into high gear, got ready, jumped into Red Rocket and drove into Starbucks.
I hate being late!
I walk into Starbucks, and he’s sitting at the first table in the corner. We hug, and say hello and proceed to get in line for coffee. While we are standing there, I turn to him and ask him if he’s a flake, and should I be concerned about his lack of attention – maybe has Attention Deficit Disorder…..jokingly of course!
C’mon, he deserved it!
“A-R-O-U-N-D…is not AT,” I explain to him. I was getting the feeling that he just didn’t appreciate who he had standing in front of him. (Not to sound too arrogant, but I didn’t notice any other 5’11” red heads knocking down his damn door!)
I can hear Kelly from Nashville say, “Oh, God. There she goes again…”
(Ok, I was a just a little irritated.)
We sit down and had a nice conversation for three hours, and during that time I decided to bring up the previous time we tried to get together, “What happened to you? I was so disappointed that I didn’t get to see you.”
“Well, I figured I’d let you cool off for a while, that’s why I didn’t reply to your text,” he says.
“What?! Let me cool off? What are you talking about? We made plans for Saturday, you didn’t call me, and then you send me a text on Sunday. What was that?”
(Don’t challenge the redhead dude, you won’t win.)
“You were obviously pissed off with me…”
I stop him and said, “Wait, I didn’t use any exclamation points, or use all caps…I just basically said, “The only thing you should be saying is, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t call you like I said I would.’ What? You didn’t think I deserved an apology? You flaked on me.”
“It’s not that, it’s just that you were so pissed off with me.”
“And, rightly so. I really wanted to see you again.”
I don’t get off on nailing people to the cross – an acknowledgement, and an apology, goes a LONG way with me. That’s all – it’s really simple. I don’t pout, I don’t hold grudges…just own it, so we can move on.
I did get my apology…and we quickly moved on.
At the beginning, things were kept light, but he’s blatant just like me – and said point-blank: “When are you moving back to New Hampshire? What’s the date?”
A date? That would probably be helpful, but I’m not going to move back until I get a job offer, or get laid off. Getting laid off is more than likely, but I’m not going to pull the trigger unless I have a job lined up. I’m taking one day at a time.
I have to say I was impressed with his conviction – he said he didn’t want to date a girl who lived out of state. He already had gone through a relationship where a girl who moved to Manchester for him. They eventually broke up, and she blamed him for “screwing up her life” because she had moved to Manchester for him. He didn’t want to do it again.
Ok….excuse me, but really? You are going to label me into the same category as this twit you dated. Really? Me? You get that impression that I’m moving for you? Ha!
Silly boys. See, if he had gotten to know me, he would know that I had already moved for a boyfriend before- years ago, and I would never do it again. No, regardless of whether or not he was in the picture, I was moving back. It’s was not a matter of “if,” but a matter of “when.” My Mamma needs me back in New Hampshire…..end of story.
“Basically, call me when you get settled in New Hampshire. We’ll keep in touch, but I just can’t date you, unless I know you are 100% available.”
“I get it. Being away from the person you are dating is torture. I get it. Really, but I just want to add this….that I dated someone in Los Angeles for three months. I got on a plane ever other Friday at 6:30pm, and came home at 11:45pm Sunday night. So, don’t tell me that a long distant relationship can’t work. THAT was long distance! THIS is just a four hour drive away. I just want to explore the possibilities with you….I don’t think it’s a wise move to limit yourself – because I’m here right now, and I may not be when I move back. But…..if this is what you want, then I’m going to honor your wishes. It is what it is.”
It turned awkward after that, so I told him that we really didn’t have anything left to discuss, but that we’d stay in touch.
Yes, we’ll stay in touch…after all, I might need a mortgage loan soon!
Nathan: How was the date with Mortgage Guy?
Carrie: Good….he apologized. *smiles* We talked for 3 hours. He’s interested, but doesn’t want to get involved until I’m settled back here, which I understand.
Carrie: He asked a few times during the date when I’m moving back….and seeing I can’t give him one, he “doesn’t want to date a girl who lives in out of state.” Hates long distant relationships.
Nathan: Well, when you get up here, you might be seeing someone else! Opportunity, usually only knocks once…
Carrie: That’s what I said! I didn’t think it was a smart move on his part. I mean, people like me don’t grow on trees.
Nathan: Nope. You’re like a carrot, you come from the ground?
Carrie: Uhm…what kind of analogy is THAT? How about….I’m like a blue moon….I only come around once in a while!
Nathan: Like a groundhog?
Carrie: No, Nathan! Like a blue moon!