The Rules

Growing up, like any sibling rivalry, my brother and I just did not get along.  At all. He was a ruthless jerk and had a knack for teasing me incessantly, which was easy to do because I was a very sensitive child.

In high school, things seemed to calm down a bit until his friends started noticing me.  He was uncomfortable with the idea that one of his friends could be interested in me, so he made it clear to all of his friends that nobody was allowed to date me.  It completely ruined my dating life in high school.

Years later, when I was living in Nashville, Nathan and his girlfriend decided to visit me, which lead to them staying there.  We ended up all living together in an apartment duplex on the West End of Nashville.  Nathan and Nicole had the first floor.  I has the second floor.  Life was good.

Downtown Nashville, TN


Or, at least I thought it was.  Nathan and Nicole’s relationship fell apart.  Nicole started playing head games with Nathan, which didn’t fly with me or my brother.  For about a month we put up with her little charades, until she crossed the line one night I’ll never forget.


Without getting into detail, after they had an argument one night, Nicole came upstairs to my apartment looking for my support.  I listened to her story and immediately thought she lying.  It was just over the top drama and I knew my brother would never do what she was claiming.  

I knew where my loyalty stood – and it wasn’t with her.

When I had heard enough, I walked downstairs to talk to Nathan.  I actually think he thought I was going to side with Nicole.  But I had known my brother all my life.  I knew his character.  I knew he avoided drama at all costs.  I also knew this was just one more game Nicole was playing.

Nathan ended up kicking her out that night and when she left, I was the one to slam the door behind her.



And that was the end of her.

Ah, buh-bye crazy girlfriend! This brings me to something that most people don’t know about, so I will outline them here:  


“The Rules”

Rule #1: Blood is thicker than water.

Rule #2: Don’t date each others friends or acquaintances. (That way we don’t ever have to resort back to Rule #1.)

Rule #3: Don’t talk about our sex lives. (Details should never go beyond, “I had a sleep over last night.”)

Rule #4: Never throw the other person under the bus. (No. Matter. What.)

Rule #5: Don’t be judgmental. (Sooner or later we’ll probably be doing the same thing.)

I have to say that night in Nashville was a turning point for me and maybe for Nathan, too. I don’t know.  But, it was definitely a pivotal moment in our relationship, because Rule #1 was put to the test.   I realized that night how important it was to Nathan not to question his character – that staying loyal to your family, no matter what and without question was based on trust.  

To this day, Nathan and I still are very close.  We are both old school.  Everything boils down to one thing:  Loyalty.

4 thoughts on “The Rules

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