Just Call Me a Date Wrecker!

Recently, I was in NYC meeting one of my New Hampshire girlfriends, Denise, at the gorgeous Algonquin Hotel. She and her fiancé, Gary, who lives in London, were having a little weekend rendezvous, and this was my first time meeting him. I was very excited.

Gary’s flight from London was late, so Denise and I decide to go to the bar and have a cocktail while we waited.

After having our first drink, Denise and I somehow started talking to the couple sitting next to us.  At one point, I told them we were waiting for Denise’s fiancé and announce that they had just gotten engaged. Then we asked the couple why they were there at the hotel.  It turned out that they were on their first Match.com date.

I naturally had to chime in about how I felt about Match.com, my horrible luck and that I’ve been off and on it for a few years.

As I’m talking, I notice that this woman’s date is staring at me. And, I mean staring.  I do my best to ignore him and keep the conversation going.  I’m fidgeting though, trying to be cool – trying to maintain my composure as best as possible, but he was making it difficult. 

Weirdness is in the air.  I’m trying like Hell to avoid any and all eye-contact with this woman’s date. Then, the guy interrupts me and proclaims, “Ya, I remember you. I winked at you several times and sent you a few emails, but you never replied back.”

Uh-O, someone just turned up the dial on the “Uncomfortable Meter,” because now I’m super uncomfortable!

I take a sip of my martini and look up, taking a really good look at him.

Oh, shit. I do recognize him! 


He’s one of the guys who has winked and emailed me several times over the years, but I never replied. 

(Maybe he should have read my blog: “No Answer, Is Your Answer.”)

I can’t even remember if I said anything back to him besides, “Oh, really?” as I felt really bad for his date sitting next to him with her mouth open.  She was just sitting there looking at him, then looking at me, then looking back at him.  Not good.  And, certainly, not something you would expect on your first date.

I have no idea how this couple’s date was going before he made his comments to me, but they left shortly thereafter.

A few weeks after the “Algonquin run-in,” I get this:

Maketheleap says: You totally wrecked my 1st date with someone – I could not keep my eyes away from you ;-)… Do you remember – mid-town west about 3 weeks ago? Match is starting to seem like “through the looking glass,” and you just popped up from the rabbit hole. You were with your friend, who was getting married – I said hello because I remembered you – we once exchanged msgs… If you’re not careful you can lose your true self with online dating… Well I think my true self would like to meet you… Hope you might be inclined – I’m sure we’d have a lot to talk about.  Best wishes… Marcus

It was a very nice email he sent to me, but seriously?  I wrecked his date?  I know he was trying to give me a compliment, but at the same time, he could have handled himself a little better in front of his date, and not made it so obvious that he was awestruck with me.

I do wish I felt some sort of “pull” with him, but I don’t. Instinctively, I’ve always felt a creepiness with him – plus, the fact that he’s had the same picture up on Match.com, for God knows how long, doesn’t give me a warm-and-fuzzy kind of feeling from him.

I’ve been called a lot of things before, but I guess now I can add to the list: Date Wrecker.


12.04.09  UPDATE!!!!

I’m truly BESIDE MYSELF RIGHT NOW!!!  This stupid story about this guy just keeps going!

So, I’m sitting here with my friend, Beth, who is also an on-line dating veteran, and I’m showing her the ideas I’ve got for future blogs about dating. We’re sitting on the couch together with my laptop on my knees showing her some of the photo’s that I’ve saved from various profiles that would go with my stories.

As I’m showing her the various photo’s, she stops me and points to the picture of Marcus.

“Why are you pointing at him?”

She keeps pointing at the photo and looks at me with her eyes bulging.


“Him, who?  Him what? Yes, that’s that guy from the Algonquin Run-In.  You know, the guy who called me the date wrecker.   Well, that’s him.”

“Oh my God, Carrie.  I dated him – and he was a HUGE womanizer.  Total scum.”

WHAT?! You have GOT to be kidding me!

See, I knew he was a Mr. Creepy Man!  See, and this is what I’m talking about – for all of my friends who think I’m being too picky and too judgmental and not giving guys a chance, my gut intuition has yet to be wrong!

Normally, I would never post someone’s picture, but in this case I think everyone should see what a dirt-bag looks like!


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