I was out at my brother’s bar the other night and ended up talking with a few single women about their dating experiences. It was the same discussion: I’m still single, because it’s so hard to find a decent guy who is boyfriend material.
Like me, these women couldn’t understand why they were still single. What were we all doing wrong? Was it us? Or, was it the lack of quality men out there?
I stood there sympathizing with their stories. How could I not? I had been a part of the dating rat-race for far longer than I ever like to admit. Then, I threw out a suggestion that dating was so much easier 10, 15 – even 20 years ago.
Was it not?
*The crowd cheers*
All the women I was talking to agreed with my statement, so I repeated something my best friend Mary said to me one day that made me laugh.
Mary
In her lovely Nashville accent she said, “Remember when all ya had to do was just sleep with a guy…and he’d be your boyfriend?!”
Remember?
Back then, it was just that easy. No conversations. No questions asked. It was a done deal. You slept with a guy, and then it was mutually understood that he was your boyfriend. For months! Maybe even years!
But not now.
Not these days.
These days you are not exclusive unless it has been discussed with your guy or unless your he goes and changes his Facebook status to “In a Relationship.” And then, you have to hope that hope that you are the one he’s in the relationship with! (Hey, I’m sure it’s happened.)
So, in moving forward with the new year, I’ve decided to take Patty Stranger’s advice from “Matchmaker Millionaire.” From here on out, I will have a full-on conversation with whomever I am getting serious with that there will be no sex before monogamy. Because, I’m not going to make that mistake I made with Hot Dog Guy ever again!
Do I hear an “Amen”?!
~Carrie
The Redheaded Writer 
I truly don’t believe that when you have sex with a guy makes any difference. I just don’t. But think about it – if a guy uses the fact that you slept with him too early/too late etc. to decide if he wants a relationship with you, you DON’T want to be with that guy.
I some-what agree with your statement. I do believe that it’s important to take the time to get to know a guy outside of the bedroom first, because how many times have we slept with a guy and find out later that we don’t even like him outside of the bedroom?
Thank you for your input!
Great blog and too true! Similar boat. But then the argument goes, Why is it that as women we can’t just sleep with whomever we want, whenever we want? I mean men do it, right? Is it wrong to exercise this right while waiting for Mr. Right?
No argument here – hell YES we can sleep w/whoever we want while waiting for Mr. Right. And Mr. Right, when he does come along won’t give a rat’s ass about what you did before he came on the scene. Or if he does, he’ll get the f over it. At least my Mr. Right did. Otherwise he would have been booted out of bed and released back into the wild!
Does your Mr. Right have a brother? And is he over 6’1″?
Love your attitude!
That’s a tough question! And I guess it depends on your own personal beliefs and thoughts. I think my next blog will be about that subject. Why can’t we just sleep with whomever we want? Hmmmm…we can, but there is a big BUT!
Thanks for your thought provoking comments! It makes me think…