Landscape Guy – How to Kill a Perfectly Good Lunch Date

I meet up with Landscape Guy for lunch on a Sunday afternoon. (I like to get the meeting part out of the way – no need to spend endless hours talking on the phone, if the chemistry isn’t going to be there in person.)

I agreed to the date because even though, during our previous phone conversations, I thought he was a bit of a conversation hog.  However, I thought maybe it might be just nervous chatter.

Landscape Guy was a former Wall Street guy.  He made his first million by 30 and then lost it all when he got sued for something.  After that, he had to start all over and decided to go into the landscaping business.  Eight years later, he has his own successful company.  I thought that was pretty impressive.

He brought me out to lunch at a sushi restaurant.  We sat down and I started the conversation with simple questions about flowers and roses.

“What is your secret to growing big Impatiens? I always manage to kill mine for some reason.”

“Water,” he said. “Lots of water.”

I thought my questions were appropriate for our first date, but somehow we got on the subject of his family.  Both parents had died the year before, one right after the other.  Very sad.  And then he goes on to tell me both of his sisters are drug addicts.  Basically, everyone in his family (5 kids) were a screw up.  Strike #1:  TMI.

When I agreed to the lunch, I never realize that there would be three of us: Me, Landscape Guy, and his phone.  While we were eating his phone kept going off – and he kept answering it.  He explained to me that his oldest sister had just texted him yesterday for money, and that he and his younger sister were going back and forth via text wondering if they should give their sister money that she needed for her newborn baby.  Even when he wasn’t texting, he still couldn’t stop talking about the situation, nor could he ignore is phone long enough to enjoy a nice lunch with a nice girl.  That would be me.  Strike #2: No date etiquette.

After the date, we drove back to his house and I got to meet his puppy, Roxy.  Soon after playing with her in outside in the yard, I realized that not only is his life a mess, but his dog was untrained and crazy as well. No discipline, no training – he just thought it was funny how she loved to play all the time she also had the full run of the house.  At 11-months old, he still had not made the time to get his dog neutered yet.

So, nice enough guy – but definitely not for me.  He doesn’t need a girlfriend – he needs a therapist.  And by no means was it nervous chatter, because I know what nervous chatter sounds like, and that wasn’t it!  Dude needs a therapist!

You know you’ve had a bad date when you are more than happy to leave!  Needless to say, there will not be a second date.  Strike #3:  Couldn’t get out of there fast enough!



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